Is there any ideal more vaunted in the blogosphere than this notion of The Conversation? Creating one, participating in one, shaping one… Gah! Stop! My malarkey meter is buzzing. Is “conversation” even useful?
Conversation is definitely happening on blogs. If I think about the many blogs I read regularly, most of them feature conversation, but not discussion. Don’t think there’s a difference? Let’s bring in old Noah Webster:
con⋅ver⋅sa⋅tion
-noun; the informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy. The ability to talk socially with others.
dis⋅cus⋅sion
-noun; an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.
Semantics, maybe, but what’s present in the definition of discussion that’s lacking in that of conversation is the element of argument and debate.
Most of the blog comments I read are along the lines of “great post!” or “LOVE your thoughts here, so true!” It’s more rampant with the big-name bloggers some readers are trying to cozy up to. David Spinks’ post from last month hit on the idea of people being overly complimentary just to conform to a community.
Few social media or marketing blogs I read seem to really be able to drum up discussion — actual debate in search of solutions — and not just conversation. (Beth Harte’s blog is pretty good at it.) I’m not sure if it’s because the blog authors themselves are too “safe” with topics and don’t offer posts that inspire debate, or if the commenters are afraid of offending the blogger or other commenters. To our credit, most of us “social media types” comment with a real name and URL attached, which makes us more accountable for our thoughts and words. But does it matter if you stand by what you say if you’re really not saying anything?
Before you go all “she who casts the first stone” on me, I’ll readily admit that I am not often one to dig in with debate or discussion on a blog post. If I disagree with a post, I’m just as likely to not comment at all versus commenting critically. I’ve never been an argumentative person or a debater. Some of it is not wanting to “offend” the blogger or community. Some of it is self-doubt as to whether my opposing view is “right” or not. I’m relatively new to this portion of the interwebs and I don’t always feel like I’ve gained the knowledge or credibility to be able to articulate my position and criticize the ideas of people who’ve been doing this for much longer than I have. I need to do better at articulating and sharing my opinions, even if they’re different. I need to discuss, not just converse.
People want to be liked. An easy way to achieve this is to never say anything contrarian. But that’s also not how people come to understand different points of view and create solutions together. I’d even argue that most bloggers would prefer comments that challenge their views and make them think differently than a chorus of “me, too!” voices. Brain wrinkles are good, folks.
So let’s all shoot for a little less conversation and a little more discussion, eh?
Funny, this is the second time today that Spinks’ post has come up! It clearly struck a chord.
I suspect the main reason you don’t see a lot of discussion in the social media space is a combination of people wanting to be liked and, more importantly, wanting to be LINKED.
I’ve come across very few blogs where you get the sense that discussion is really desired; when it’s attempted, it’s often either downplayed or ignored outright. Fred Wilson played host to an impressively free-wheeling discussion on his blog recently with his “Freemium and Freeconomics” post; 215 comments currently, many disagreeing with his take, many of which he engaged in further discussion.
malarkey! gr8 word.
i’d hazard a guess and say that people are probably not used to engaging in productive, civil debates. i’ve read some pretty intense immature banter between two seemingly well written and well read ppl–the nature of their disagreements disappointingly infantile.
but yeah it remains that ‘zee grey cells’ could use more stimulation when it comes to blog commentary. or at the very least, ADD a different angle, make someone consider that there POV may be flawed..sure..but i think that inasmuch as the message is key, the way its delivered is equally if not more important.
I have to be honest, I’m in the same camp as you, quiet if I don’t agree because of my fairly recent delve into the business side of social media. I tend to add points, but rarely do I disagree or “discuss”.
I think a decent compromise is to ask a question or ask for clarity on a point. At this point in the game I know there’s so much to learn, and if I don’t agree, the least I can do is ask for better explanation, right? And then tie in my disagreement/doubts into following comments.
Even that is tough for me, but I know it’s my next logical step. Possibly a next step for you, too?
Also, us newbies tend to fall into a natural agreement pattern, where, since we’re learning, we tend to nod our heads and have mini “Ah ha!” moments. Maybe forcing ourselves to look at a post from a devil’s advocate position before responding would help the discussion.
Unfortunately, I can’t start disagreeing here — you make a great point. ;-)
I HATE THIS POST! Okay, that was a joke. Just making a point on the flip side: that often we also don’t get discussion, we get argument, snark, and senseless shouting where people are trying to score points instead of listening and learning. Some of us may be too sweet, but others are too sour.
I don’t pull punches. For better or worse I really don’t even try to.
If I see something as being b.s. I usually call the individual, company or organization out for doing so. I do try to maintain a positive spin on blog posts…but it’s hard occasionally.
A fine line exists between being a jerk and being critical…walk it well.
Good post Amy, I think you can also discuss whether you are talking TO people or talking WITH people. Results will be a lot better if you’re talking WITH people. Get engagement, get discussion.
@Guy – I always appreciate your insightful comments. When you say that you come across very few blogs where discussion is desired – what are the hallmarks of the one’s that do seem to welcome discussion? Is it a matter of how the posts are written, how the blogger engages in the comments section, or something else? I’ll certainly have to check out Wilson’s blog and post.
@Autom – I’d have to agree with you – one look at just about any major newspaper’s blog comments definitely underscores your point that many people don’t know how to have a civilized debate!
@Theresa – You bring up a very good point about the natural agreement pattern. I wonder if many people who are just learning about social media don’t dive into discussion on blogs because they automatically assume that the blogger is right. I still do that every now and then. Dave Fleet had a great post earlier this week about playing devli’s advocate. It’s a good way to spur discussion; to almost force yourself to take a contrary opinion to a post and see if you can make a valid argument out of that position.
@Karen – Well played. I guess I should be careful what I wish for! True, the polar opposite of head-bobbing, affirming “conversation” is nasty snark, which also isn’t too productive. Finding the happy medium, the true discussion, is where the real value comes from.
@Stuart – How do you find is the best way to “walk that line?” What have you found that works on The Lost Jacket to encourage discussion in the comments?
@Kasey – Your point really hit home with me. Maybe too many bloggers are talking “to” people and that’s why there’s such a dearth of discussion? What do you think bloggers can do to move towards a more engaged community and get discussion going? Is it a matter of the way posts are written? Topic selection? How they respond to comments? Would be very interested to hear your thoughts…
It’s always funny to me how at work, people can easily hide behind their words. But sometimes blogs are merely read for entertainment. The opportunity for discussion is missed, overlooked, taken for granted…IDK….
Anyway, good post. It had a beat I could dance to. : )
It recalled me of the old India tradition of chaupals where all elderly people of a village used to sit together at a common place in the village after the days work, to discuss social current affairs smoking “Hukka” a kind of traditional cigarette. The conclusion of the daily discussions was shared with all the other residents and the pradhan (the head of the village) who in turn discussed it with other pradhan’s of nearby villages and they all would discuss it in the court of their King if the matter was of relevant importance. This way everything Important starting from a particular person was circulate in the whole country. Therefore creative and productive discussions wiil always have relevant importance in every society.
Rick
sapience